On Wednesday, our Heart to Heart was on the 5 love languages, but I feel like I have more to say about them! Here is that post if you have not read it yet. The book was seriously so inspiring and just made complete sense when it comes to how we communicate love to our partner and how our partner communicates love to us. I think that most of us can say we do really love the person that we are with, but sometimes they don’t feel our love or we don’t feel the love coming from them. The love languages talk about loving your partner in the way that feels completely right to them, and it just makes so much sense!
Everyone has the things that make them feel really good just in every day life. I have to workout every day to feel really good. Greg has get outdoors to feel invigorated, and then to feel on top of the world, as a couple, we need to spend quality time together- our love language.
The whole book just made me think about my own relationship, and it was a great reminder about taking time to keep your love growing. The book also mentioned how at the start of a relationship many times we are giving a lot into the relationship love language wise; like giving gifts that remind us of our partner, telling the person they’re amazing, cuddling & holding hands, planning fun activities, and doing things that we know will make our partner happy. As life gets busy, though, that can sometimes slip away, and it is important to take time to nurture your love, and give the love of your life exactly what they crave from you.
I also thought it was really eye opening that a lot of times your love language or the love language of your partner is what they ask you for most frequently (this may even be in an argument). I gave the example of Greg and I saying to each other in our last post that we need more attention if one of us is not paying attention to the other. While I was reading the book that was the moment I realized that quality time was our language of love. Another example of this may be if your partner’s love language is acts of service, they may express wanting help with certain house hold tasks or feel upset when they are taking on more responsibility like cleaning, paying bills, or running to grab milk. Also, many times people have a different love language than their partner and because of this, may not be speaking the right language. We usually give love the way we want to receive it, but our partner may need something else.
I completely believe in the love languages, and I also think it is really sweet that people need love in different ways. It made me think about how unique and special every couple’s relationship is. It also made me feel really grateful for my own relationship with Greg.
I thought I would share some details on the love languages so that you can figure out you and your partner’s love language, and try some of the expression of love this weekend!
Here are the five love languages with ways you can show your partner love if you believe it is their love language.
Words of Affirmation- A person with this love language feels those warm feeling of deep love more than any other time when their partner tells them they are beautiful or handsome, tells them they are proud of them, thanks them for their hard work, or says anything to them that makes them feel good about what they are doing and who they are.
Physical touch- This is my minor love language, and I know it is because after cuddling or a good hug or holding hands I feel really good and smiley. I feel like I am floating on air. A person who’s love language is physical touch feels so amazing after cuddling or a back rub or just any type of intimacy like that.
Quality time- With this love language having shared hobbies, giving one another your undivided attention, and doing things like cooking dinner together are an absolute must. It makes the person feel valued and deeply loved. Also, keeping contact with one another throughout the day while away from each other is extremely important for those whose love language is quality time. The, after quality time together, the person feels invigorated and like they cannot wait for that time again. (Greg and I can never wait for time together!)
Gifts- Those whose love language is gifts feel love from their partner when their partner gives them things like a handwritten letter, or something they have wanted for a long time and wouldn’t buy themselves, or makes them something hand made, or sees something and brings it home for them because it made them think of the person they love. These can be things like their favorite flower or a pop from McDonald’s because you know that they have the best Diet Coke and your partner loves it! It can also be bigger gifts, too, but the price of the gift is not what matters. It is that you are thinking about your love for the person and expressing it through gifts- their love language. This shows your partner that you love them and are thinking about them, always.
Acts of Service- Acts of service is the love language where your partner helping with things like chores or making sure the lawn is mowed or taking care of your dry cleaning for you, makes you feel loved. A person with this love language feels loved when their partner does these things for them because they feel like their partner values them and wants to help them. The thought and feeling of love is done while doing these tasks and is communicated to the partner this way.
Now, one last thing about the love languages. The love has to be given freely and without complaint for it to feel like love. For example, if Greg and I had plans to do something I may enjoy a little more than him, it would not feel like love if Greg complained about it or said he went to that event with me like it was a favor. I also cannot demand Greg do something with me that he really doesn’t want to do like yoga lol!
“Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.” – Gary Chapman, Author of The Five Love Languages